Strong Disclaimer: This mail has no resemblence to any person or place in reality. It is a fiction work engineered by my friends here at IIMB.
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE
“Go miser go, for money sell your soul.
Trade wares for wares and trudge from pole to pole,
So others may say when you are dead and gone.
See what a vast estate he left his son.”
My motto in life is that every penny is worth a million dollars and spending even a penny on anyone else is a forbidden sin. I am a maha lichhad (ultimate miser and greedy pig) DML2 who does not believe that securing a CGPA of 3.76 is reason enough for a small treat to close friends. My time is also a very precious commodity and I believe that studying with lesser mortals slows me down. Therefore I study in groups only when I see a distinct advantage.
I have an overwhelming programming fetish which I often use for self gratification, and this orgasmic passion has driven me to join SIGMA in search of exotic codes. I have had diverse experiences as a coordinator of SIGMA, where I bluntly dismissed frantic calls for computer repairs and restoring internet connections. At IIMB, I have supplemented my programming skills with ‘Global’ abilities, which is evident from my global CP and a 4.00 in BGS.
Apart from the love of my life, there is another woman (PGP2) behind my success. She is the only one I consider worthy of my Day 0 treat. The fact that I was planning for this treat and refused one to my friends speaks volumes of my judgmental skills and persistence. I am a thorough perfectionist, which is evident from my reaction to a score of 3.59 in QM- “Yaar yeh course to mujhe pehle se khatak raha tha”. My weaknesses are that in spite of being AIR 39 in IITJEE, I am extremely down to earth, simple and honest person.
I believe that my abilities and diverse experiences have prepared me well for a grand hooshing tonight. I am extremely confident that my butt will be able to last the beating and challenge you to prove me wrong.
Credits: Pankaj Goyal