Monday, March 14, 2005

SWOT analysis of a girlfriend

This blog is targetted especially at my wingmates, who suffer from gyaencomania(fear of girls).
The question that is being raised is : Do we really need a girl(friend)?
There are related questions, such as are we capable/qualified/bold enough to have a gf? Why do we feel we need one? Why will a girl ever come with us? Is it a sexual question only? or do we really need a female companion in our fuckingly boring "man"ual life? After all, why are we FRUSTATED over this issue? Hey, wingmates, be with me on this issue atleast :)
Frankly, these questions haunt us whenever I think abt having a female (24*7*365*22 days)!!
So, let us do some SWOT analysis of why female is integral to man's survival.
Benefits:
1. She is "she". Isn't that enough? Aren't you bored after living with dirty, hard, harsh and intelligent males for 15 years ? You need a change yaar!!
2. There is a POSSIBILITY of mental, spiritual, sensual, and in rarest of the rare cases, physical pleasure. Although, financial dissatisfaction may be on the cards :(
3. Yours pride, neighbour's envy...Hahahahaha...feel like laughing like ramanand sagar's rakshasa. Bakaitti at its ultimate !!
4.
Personality development: Just adds on another flower in our bouqette of personality ....
5. May be understand the architecture of GH too !!
6. May be girls are good buddies, who are always there when you need them (maybe not all the places :)).

Can't see any more benefits?
Now, comes the cost involved, and believe me its a huge list. Special thanks to all the bulla of 4 years that has helped me to compile me this.
1. Wing mein booking. For others, its pretty bad to be target of 18 other guys after 12 in the night. Till then you can be safe with ur gf though :)
2. Loss of independence: Are tum kahan jaa rahe ho? Tum usko kyun dekh rahe ho? Aaj tumne shave kyun nahin ki (remember, guys!!)? tum shaam ko kahan the ?? Save me God!!
3.
Our "type" of sense of humor is at risk. Tumhari writing kitni gandi hai, ha ha ha. Woh dekho usne kaisi jeans pehen rakhi hai, ha ha ha ha!! Some girlish jokes I have ear dropped. Come on yaar, give me a break!!
4. Our "esteem" , naak nichi nahin honi chahiye bhai.
5. Financial burden. Canteenwalah doesn't know my room no till now !!
6. Endless chutiyaaps . Valentine day, b'day, treat, movie, long chats, ruthna, mananaa .......
7. Most importantly, you will end up spending less time with ur friends.
8. Lastly, why the damn are we ruining the life of the silly girl !!

So, we see, costs dominate benefits. Then what, still we wish we had gfs. Why??
We don't need a companion, our frnd circle is excellent, we care for each other, spend time together... then what??
Is it just being the "one" to "achieve" that, or mere "testing" ourselves at a foreign pitch, or is it just lust?? I guess, a nice recipe of all these factors.
Finally, what r the choices we have? (btw, do we really have a choice? umm, topic for my next blog....)
1. Say ALOUD we don't need a girlfriend. ..........and wait for your parents to come into action!!
2. Say ALOUD I am looking for a girlfriend. Fuck your blog, mr. Pankaj
3. Well, I am still doing the analysis.........................essentially, I dont need one.

Now, my answer would be 2 & 3, which combine together to say this:
"I am the biggest FATTU" ever to live on the earth.
Choose your choice. The question is open till you get married...


3 comments:

Saurabh Nanda said...

Tanvir: SWOT = Strength Weakness Opportunity Threat

Nandz.

Anonymous said...

Hey cool analysis of gf.
Well u boys r so much happy wid gfs comes to know frm ur article.
But do u thnk tht only guls r like this n not the boys.
well acording to me no need to fight, coz male n female r like two part of a coin n the coin is life ........
they both r incomplete without eachother..............they both need eachother.
I cannot get y u guys thnk tht uall r so grt tht u thnk on a question like uall need a gulfrd or not
but the ans given by tanvir is rite , uall dont need a gf uall need a female frd.......
A very imp thing I would like to tell is tht u need a female at every stage of ur life.
C I will xplain u how,,,,,
when u r a child, u need a mother
when u go school, u need a sister
when u r teenage,u need a gf
when u r adult , u need a wife
so u need a female in every stage of ur age.
THE MOST IMP THING A MANS LIFE IS INCOMPLTE WITHOUT A WOMAN.........
MY SELF NIDHI JAIN.......

Anonymous said...

hee hee, let the end sems get over and then u'll see my gyaan on the self proclaimed superior sex (that's females..)
Miss Jain, i'm sorry to say but its not the guys but the ladies who consider themselves as superior and us guys as lesser mortals!!..
await details and debates...
thanks in advance...

Manzil kohli
9839-123623
Call me now and always ;)